Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm Bored

Waiting is very boring. I'm just waiting for the hip replacement.

My day looks like this:

wake up and go get coffee and eat breakfast
play on computer for an hour or two
watch tv
get lunch
play on computer
read
watch tv.... and on and on

I've had a little bit of a reprieve this week from the boredom.

Christy came and took me to her church to help sort "stuff" for their bazaar. Jeff & Chanel came on Saturday and we shopped for a dress for Chanel (not Jeff! LOL!!) for an upcoming Formal. Then they came again on Wednesday to pick up the dress from the alterations guy and Chanel and I went shopping some more. The stayed for dinner. Thursday night Kirsten texted me saying she was at the Melting Pot chatting with Heather who bartends there. I texted back saying I'd be right over. So over I go with Andrew...just assuming that was an invitation. Turns out she was meeting a date there! So we just kind of....well...invited ourselves on her first date with a guy!! Well? I really thought it was an invitation!!

So...we sit at the bar and eat and drink and laugh - a lot. I have three green apple martinis. I didn't think anything of it. We got home and I was in a lot of pain from sitting on the bar stools so I have a pain pill. Boom!! It hit me. I went to bed. I don't actually even remember going to bed!! I slept for 12 hours straight!! Best sleep I've had in a really long time!! The pain usually wakes me up several times. I think I've stumbled on a "good thing"!! Yay!!!

My surgery is in a week and 3 days. I'm really looking forward to it. I went to a hip replacement class they have at the hospital. I was, by far, the youngest person there. Ugh! It was very informative. Great class! I found out I'll probably be in the hospital for 3 - 4 nights and then home. I'll use a walker for the first 2 - 3 weeks then back to the cane. Will have home rehab till I can get to therapy on my own - which may be a while since it's the right hip being done and that's my driving leg.

Kid-wise: Jeff's graduating from college on May 9th! He's going to work for the summer and then go to University of Florida for his MBA. He has to go an extra year to become a CPA (the American equivilant of a CA) so he might as well stay a little while longer and get his MBA.

Scotty is still doing ROTC. Still wants to be a pilot. He just received a $1,000 scholarship from ROTC for being outstanding and will get his name on a plaque in the ROTC building. I'm a very proud mama!!

Kevin is still doing ROTC. Now wants to be some sort of something where it's dangerous and he would go in and save soldiers who are in enemy territory...or something like that. It's crazy, whatever it is! Suits Kevin, just fine!! ROFL!!!

Andrew...perfect as ever. I love him soooo much!!!

Oh...sad news....Duffy (out sweet dog) died. Cancer. Sucks. Sad. It's been two weeks and I'm still looking for him around the house. I miss him.

Mom and dad will still be here when I get my hip replacement so they're going to help me when I get home.

I think that's it.
ttfn!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Getting a Hip Replacement

Boy! Sorry for not updating earlier. I guess I thought about doing it so I thought I'd done it but hadn't.

Okay, so here goes:

Went to a doctor who supposedly knows all about AVN. It was sure a surprise to him! He said that, no, he does not. He did agree with the other doctor that I should probably get a core decompression done. He also decided that he should do a cortisone shot to see if it would take some swelling down in the hip. Boy! Did that hurt! The next day I could hardly walk, for pete's sake. Anyway, it didn't work. The pain didn't subside. Even a teeny tiny bit.

So I decided to do some research of my own. I found an online support group of people with AVN. Almost every single one of these people has had asthma bad enough to be on major doses of prednisone - just like me. Many of them have battle cancer, too. What I found was that core decompression is not a cure. It just puts off the eventual hip replacement. It's not guaranteed to make the pain go away, either.

So, I decided to go back to my original doctor and get a hip replacement done. Now, when I first went to him a year ago, he said he could do both hips at the same time. Since I have gained 20 lbs in the meantime? No such luck. So, I'm going to do the right hip on April 27. When I've recovered from that one I'll do the left hip.

I've applied for short term disability. I haven't heard back, yet. It's certainly not guaranteed that I'll get it. This is a pre-existing condition so we'll see. I really want the disability now so that I can try to get into some sort of better shape prior to surgery. The aquafit class and beginner yoga classes I want to go to are only offered on weekday mornings so I'd like to be able to attend those.

In the end, I'm happy to have the hip replacement set up. I'm in so much pain on a daily basis that I could just sit and cry. I know that the hip replacement won't be a walk in the park but I have to stay focused on the end result - just like I did when I was doing chemo.

That's all for today.
ttfn

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My Hips

I went for my MRI on Monday. I went to see my doctor on Tuesday. This is what he said.

My hips are 30% dead. They like for your hips to be 50% dead before they'll do a hip replacement. Therefore, he thinks I should do a less invasive operation whereby they drill holes in the hips to reduce the pressure thereby getting rid of the pain. However, he doesn't do this operation.

So...he's going to call around and try to find me a doctor who works with young people with Avascular Necrosis and see what that doctor says.

I have no feelings about this. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is what it is. There's no pill to help with the pain. I told him I've been self-medicating with Green Apple Martinis and he said whatever helps. So, there ya go. I must now go make myself a drink!

TTFN!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

When Will My Health Shit End?

I would really like to finish writing in the blog. You know. It's the end of cancer. I just have twice a year follow-ups which will all be good and I'll never have cancer again. The problem is that stuff keeps coming up.

The good news is that the port is out. Yay!! It kinda hurt but it was worth it.

The shitty news is that my hips are getting worse. Especially my right hip. I'm in pain most of the time. I say most of the time because....if I drink a few green apple martinis? The pain miraculously goes away. Also, I can make it go away with some left over narcotics from Kevin's broken femur adventure. Ahhh....percocet!! Gotta love it! But most of the time it feels like I have a knife sticking into my hip. Oh, the hip is not the outer part of the body but more the upper groin area. You know where your hip bone is? Well go in about 3 inches and that's where my pain is. All the fucking time. The left hip hurts too but not as bad. It seems to be about three months behind.

So...I was researching getting a double hip replacement. I mean, why do one and go through all that recovery and then do the other and repeat the recovery. I want to do both at the same time, go through recovery and get the fuck on with my life. So, I was researching it and came across this cool new technique. Well, it's new in the States but they've been doing it in Europe for a very long time. It's done on a special table called the Hana table and it enables the surgeon to go in from the front and not cut through major muscle groups and he can do both at the same time. I got all excited about it and looked up if there was a doctor in my area who works with that table.

I found one in Spring Hill which is about an hour north of here. Not too bad a drive for this. I made an appointment and went to see him yesterday. I really, truly thought he'd just say "yah, you need this done" and I'd get an appointment and, hooray!, no more pain. After all, the other ortho guy told me I could get it done anytime I want and when I don't want to live with the pain anymore, call him and we'll book it. Well, it didn't go that way. He wants me to get another MRI because mine is a year old. He also mentioned doing a different procedure first. It's where they drill a hole into the hip and hope that some blood flow goes in there and stops the fast spread of the necrosis (dying bone). It was weird to hear this because the other ortho guy said that that procedure never works. Anyway, I now have to go for the MRI and, if the necrosis isn't too bad, he would want to do this drilling thing and, if the necrosis is bad, he would do hip replacement.

This is very disappointing. I really just want the hip replacements and be done with it. I understand the reasoning behind doing the drilling but am confused because of what the other ortho guy said. Then I realized I've had three orthos. The first one I didn't like. The second I liked and now this third one. I've also had three oncologists. Am I too picky? Crazy? I dunno. All I know is that I'm soooo sick of being a patient and just want to move on.

Anyway, here's an article that describes all this better than I just did:

http://www.orthogate.org/patient-education/hip/avascular-necrosis-of-the-hip.html

So...that's the update on my health. I don't feel like writing anymore so you don't get an update on my life. All I'll say is everything's great.

ttfn

Friday, January 23, 2009

I'm Done!!

Well, it's official! I'm done my treatments! There are so many great things about that. First off? I get my port out! Yay!! I really have a huge love/hate relationship with it. It got me through chemo and Herceptin so easily but it's really ugly. Anyway, that's so great to get rid of it (Friday 7 am - I didn't even know 7 am existed! LOL!!). The other great thing is that I don't have to remember to go for my treatments every third week. It's hard to remember, you know.

Oh! Interestingly enough, while I was at the Oncologists I found an article that talks about chemo brain and how women who have gone through breast cancer chemo, in particular, complain about chemo brain. Chemo brain is when you have a really weird memory. Like, I can't remember people's names who I've known and loved for years, I can't remember what I did over the weekend, what I ate for lunch. Stuff like that. I used to have a pretty decent vocabulary but that seems to be leaving me. It's just weird. Anyway, they're starting to do some (this is a good example of chemo-brain - I just read about it 1/2 an hour ago and can't think of the word) studies (I went and looked it up) to see if there's anything that can be done. My family would sure be happy if I could improve. I think they're getting frustrated with me not remembering some pretty important things.

Ok, that's it for my update, for now. Andrew's taking me out for a romantic dinner tonight. Woohoo!! I love romance!!

TTFN peeps!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Wow! I haven't blogged for quite a while, eh? Well, here's a big update.

I'll start with the tattoo. I got one. I love it. Yes, it hurt. Here it is:

It's on my right shoulder. I did it while Andrew was away. I thought it would be a "good" surprise but I didn't read that one very well. He wanted to be involved in the process of picking the tattoo. Understandable. He's not mad just a little disappointed. I would be too so I completely understand. My bad. Anyway, I had told Scott & Kevin I was doing it and could they be there with me to hold my hand. No, they couldn't. They had parties to go to. Jeff couldn't be here either so I talked my mom into going with me. She wasn't happy about that. She hates tattoos. I decided to do it anyway and then? I woke up on Saturday morning and there was Scott & Kevin!! Home!! Just for me!! I love those boys!! And I did need the hand holding 'cause it really did hurt.

Then came my birthday. I hadn't had a birthday party since I was 13 and was complaining about it one night when my parents were here and my mom said "well, I'll give you one". So she did. It was so fun! Most of my favourite people were there and I love love loved it! Here's some pics:



Jeff's best friend, Jayson, me and Scott. Yes, I felt very short. See the necklace? My boys gave it to me for my birthday! I love it! They also gave me a blue version of the same one. Jayson is one of Jeff's best friends. Josh is Jeff's other best friend. He's in a later picture. They arrived with flowers in hand. They make me feel so special - I love those boys. When I was in chemo, they'd get on the phone with me and chat a little and send their love. Sweet, sweet boys.




This is Christy. She's one of my best friends. I love her. Isn't she cute? She's from the south and says y'all and other "south" stuff. So cute. I don't see her enough. Hey, Christy! Let's make a New Year's resolution to see each other more! Love ya! Oh! And see in the background. That's the only picture I got of Kevin. He's the built one in brown.









Me playing beer pong. I was a "Celebrity Shot" so I didn't have to drink I just got to shoot. I missed this shot but.....












Got this one! That's Jeff and Josh in the picture with me.
Andrew tried his hand at it, too!

My computer stopped letting me comment beside the pictures. Weird. Anyway the next two pictures are of the cake. Ruth is in the background. She's a friend from one of my earlier jobs and she's the one who gave me a beautiful prayer that Kim read prior to my breast surgery. She is a beautiful person. The other one in the background is Jim. He's a dad from hockey. I hung out with he and his wife, Robin all the time. Love them! Then, the bottom picture is my momma helping me blow out the candles. Thank you momma! I definitely couldn't have done it without you!! And thank you for my party....it was soooo fun!!

I just realized that you can see my port in all the pictures. It's that lump above my left boob. I hate that thing. It'll be coming out in late January! Yay!!

Then came Christmas. It was lovely. The Halls came for dinner and my mom and dad came, too. Mr & Mrs Hall are friends of the family and have been for about 30 years. Mr Hall is a "funny guy" with a huge heart and Mrs Hall is my third mom. She loves me, I love her. Oh, and Joanne? She gave me huge hug for you....Thanks!! ROFL!!

Then came New Years. We had dinner in with the boys and then Andrew & I went to Jack Willies for fun. It's an outdoor tiki bar. There was a band and weird characters and it was fun (a little chilly, though, by Florida standards). As soon as the New Years' kiss was done? We headed inside.

The kids have been home this whole time. It's nice to have them home but, boy, do those kids ever eat a lot!

Oh, as for cancer stuff. I did my second to last Herceptin this week. I'm almost done!! It'll be so nice to not have to go for treatments anymore but scary at the same time. As I mentioned earlier I'll be able to get my port out when the treatments are done. That'll be nice. I hate that thing. I mean, I love that it enabled me to get the treatments pain-free but it really is an ugly little thing, ya know?

I haven't met my new oncologist yet. I'll meet her on January 21. I've been told she's great. I did some checking on her and it seems she's more of a blood oncologist. I'll have to ask her a bunch of questions. I want someone who knows everything there is to know about breast cancer so, we'll see. I met up with my radiation oncologist at a restaurant in December and he said he can recommend someone good so I'll probably do that and change oncologists again. So much drama. Ugh!! I hate drama. It's just too draining.

Happy New Years everyone!

ttfn!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Dropped My Oncologist

Well, I did it. It was so uncomfortable for me! OMG!!

My mom went with me for moral support (Andrew's in Europe) and, boy, was I glad she was there. We went in and I asked the receptionist how to switch oncologists. She said I could and that she'd find out how. My mom and I were just sitting there discussing with the receptionist why and a lady came in and started filling up her coffee cup. Little did we know it was the office manager. Well, actually, she was more important than the office manager but I can't remember what her official title was - kinda like a patient advocate.

Anyway, she asked what was happening and I told her and she asked if I would like her to/could she come into the meeting with the doctor. I said sure. The more support I had, the better. So, in we went. I had my regular appointment and then I started asking him more questions about the lymph node (which he swore had no issues) and the nodule. He kept saying that the nodule (that's the thing I had the biopsy on in October) and the lymph node issue were the same. I kept saying they weren't. He read the biopsy report over and over and I kept reiterating that there were two issues. He kept disagreeing and we kept going around and around again. My mom tried to help, too. It was just so frustrating. Finally, after about 15 minutes of doing this, he saw that, yes, there are two issues.

By this point I'm thinking "OMG! Is this a language barrier (he's Brazilian) or am I smarter than the oncologist who isn't reading the results properly?" In the end he admitted that I was right. Did this feel good? No. Not at all. I was relieved that he finally saw what I saw but it was really annoying and frustrating. Usually, when I'm right? I'm all proud and ha ha ha-ish. In yo' face sucka!! This time? I was just tired of the whole thing. I explained to him that I really felt we had a communication issue and that I felt he was dismissive to me and that I really need to switch doctors. This whole thing took about 1/2 hour. By the end of it I was shaking and just relieved that it was over.

I'm really glad that the office lady was there to see the entire thing unfold. My hope is not that she sees I'm right. That is so beside the point. My hope is that other women will not have to go through the frustration and doubt that I had to go through. I can, honestly, feel my blood pressure rising as I write about it. I have been asked why I didn't just switch doctors and not go through the whole "confrontation" with the doctor. My answer is that, first off, I wanted to give him a chance to rectify the situation. I also wanted him to know why I was leaving to go to someone else. I really, really hope that he'll try harder and do better with the next woman to walk in his office.

Anyway, I'm switching to a lady doctor in the same office. I've heard nice things about her and I hope with my entire heart that I will like her.

Last night, I had a huge asthma attack. I'm off the prednisone, now, and I woke up at midnight coughing and not able to breathe. It was so scary! I was all alone in the house. I grabbed my nebulizer (a breathing machine) and started that up. Thank goodness that helped but I'm sure breathless today and my chest hurts so much. It's like I have bruised lungs. Jeff & Chanel are coming home tonight so I'll feel much better having them in the house in case it happens again. I think it has to do with the stress of the whole "dropping the oncologist" thing, though. I do think stress contributes to asthma.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to Jeff and Chanel coming home tonight. I'm looking forward to Andrew coming home on Saturday. I'm looking forward to Scott & Kevin coming home on Sunday. I'm looking forward to going to CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG on Sunday. It's a theatre production and he's taking me for my birthday!! Yeah!!! I'm also looking forward to a birthday party on Monday night! It's very last minute but I really, really wanted one so my mom and dad are throwing one for me. So fun!!!

That's all for now.
TTFN!

ps - Tuesday was Donny's birthday, just fyi!!