Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What A Strange Day.....

OMG!! This has been the single most rollercoaster day of my entire life. Here's how it's gone so far:

Woke up early this morning to go to my biopsy. To tell you the truth, I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. The results are a big deal but the biopsy? No biggy. After all, when I went for my first biopsy, it was an ultrasound biopsy. They had an opening at 7:00 in the evening so off we went. No fasting. No getting ready. Just throw on a gown and do it.

This one? Very different. I went into the hospital. Had to fast. Did a shitload of paperwork and then into the pre-op area. Did you get that? The pre-op area. WTF!! (what the fuck) I get a gown on, they do my vitals, tell me I can't work that day. What? I have things to do!! Not really, but I have things to pretend to do!! LOL!! Then I get an IV (my third in as many weeks) which pisses me off yet again 'cause I have a port which only seems to be used for the Herceptin. Again. WTF!! I thought the whole idea of a port was so I don't have to get "stuck" a gazillion times. Ugh. My blood pressure's too high so they do it again. It's ok that time so they proceed. I get valium. Yay!!! I love valium! The procedure was fine. I get on a table on my tummy. It has two cutouts for my boobies. They clamp my boob so it won't move (didn't hurt) and into the MRI machine I go. Three minutes later I come out. They inject the "stuff" in and back into the MRI machine I go. Three minutes later I come out. I get more valium!! Yay, valium!! The doctor freezes my boob. That was a little painful but not that bad. The rest I didn't feel. I did hear him using a vacuum-like machine to get the sample but other than that, no big deal. Came home at 10 am and slept till 2:30. Yay valium!!

OK, so I'll explain the rollercoaster:

Get up realize that the coffee's brewing and I can't have any and I have to have a biopsy - down
Get to the hospital and have to have an IV - more down
Doctor comes in and tells me that the results from the PET scan came in and I DON'T HAVE CANCER IN MY LYMPH NODES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - way up. way the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go in for biopsy - a little down
Come home to sleep - a little up
Talk to my mommy and Kim and Scott and Jeff (Kevin was in class) - way up
Duffy's vet calls and tells me my dog has cancer of the lymph nodes and chemo will cost $1,000. If we don't do chemo he will die in 12 weeks!! - way, way down!!
Talk to Andrew and just tell him we're doing the chemo for the dog. - more down

I never, ever, just tell Andrew that we're doing something. That's not the way we've ever worked. We always run things by each other. Talk about things. Discuss them. Sometimes argue about them. I think that's why our marriage has worked so well for all these years. It's out of respect that we do these things. So, this was very, very unusual that I would just tell Andrew something. Especially something that costs $1000. But, (I'm crying now) I just can't have my dog die of cancer. I just can't. He was so there for me during my cancer stuff. And he doesn't even like me that much. But, I really think dogs can tell when there's something wrong and he'd just hang around me. Lie at the bottom of the bed. Lie in my doorway. Cry with me when I needed it (he thought we were singing, to be honest, but, still - he was there for me). Anyway, there is just no other option. We're doing the chemo.

Now, tonight, I'm going to The Melting Pot with some of my favourite ladies in the world. It's a fondue restaurant and they're having a Breast Cancer Awareness night so we're going to partay!! So, I'll end the night on an up.

There you have it, my roller coaster day.

I get the results of my biopsy tomorrow so I'll post then.

Aunt Ardyth - thanks for the phone call. I love you and your support means the world to me. I smiled so wide when I got your message. Thanks!

Syrene - thank you so much for the presents. You are just the sweetest thing!!

Karen - thank you for posting on my blog and for your ongoing support. I love you!!

That's all peeps!
ttfn

2 comments:

Candance said...

YAY for your lymph nodes!! I am crossing my fingers your biopsy will come back normal, too.

I am so sorry about your dog. It made me tear up a little reading that!

Holly said...

oh dear, so sorry about your dog. BUT!!! yay for your lymph nodes (and cancer awareness fondue night - yum!)