Thursday, May 8, 2008

Fuck a Duck!

Well, fuck a duck. I went to see the orthopedic surgeon today. This sucks.

First off, yes, I do have avascular necrosis. In both hips. It is at the very beginning of it's progress. There is nothing that can be done about it. When my hips "collapse" then they will do a couple of hip replacements. He said this like it's nothing. Dumbass Doctor.

But, that is not the cause of my pain. When, I repeat, when, the avascular necrosis starts to hurt I will feel it in that crease between your leg and the torso. The cause of the pain I currently have is something called tendinitis. I am not looking this up on the internet. I don't even want to know. I'm just sick to death of this whole thing and it would appear that I'm just at the beginning. Ugh! So, he gave me a Cortisone shot in the right hip and told me to not walk but if I have to walk I have to use a cane. No more taking the dog for a walk, wandering around Target, the mall, the beach. No walking unless necessary. This will go on for up to one year. But, even at that point he said that any walking will make the avascular necrosis progress faster so I really shouldn't walk at all until I have to get the hip replacements. He suggested swimming. Really. I am not kidding. That was his suggestion. I think I'll ask the grocery store to put in a lap lane.

I was planning on going to Europe with Andrew and Scott at the end of this month. But, how am I going to wander around Europe if I can't walk? Hmmmm? This truly fucking sucks and I'm not a happy camper right now. Oh!! There's more. I have to lose the 30 lbs that I took off last year at this time then put back on throughout my Cancer treatments. He suggested Nutri System. I suggest he go f&&.....oh, no, I did not say that!! I thought it!! ROFL!!!

Anyway, I'm bummed. This sucks. But? At least I'm starting to grow hair! LOL!

Ok, so let's start a list of good things about this, 'cause I really need to see the up side to it.

Here goes:

- I get to lie around and watch tv and eat carrot sticks or celery sticks (no bonbon's for me! I have 30 lbs to lose)
- I can play on the computer as much as I want 'cause I can't walk
- I can read to my heart's content
- I can buy some really cool canes
- I can scrapbook! I forget how but I'm sure I'll remember again, soon
- OMG!! When I go see Donny Osmond I'll have a cane (I better have a really good one!) and maybe he'll see me and it and come over and I'll get my albums signed (yes, I am taking all my albums with me)
- When I'm sitting on the couch watching tv I can ask someone to get me a pop 'cause I'm not supposed to walk

Hmmm....this is sounding not too bad - well except the part that I can't go to Europe and will have to take a wheel chair to Vegas - but even there, on the Vegas thing? I don't have to wear "sensible shoes" because I won't be walking so I can wear some cool stiletto's. I should go buy some if I'm gonna do that, I suppose. CFM heels! OHHH yah!!!!! (If you don't know what CFM is, I am totally not gonna tell you!)

OK, peeps, add to my list, please. I need to see the light! (not the dieing light - the light for the not being able to walk)

ttfn, peeps!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok- adding to your list
Things to do that doesn't require walking
1. Sex
2. Watching Oprah
3. Watching Movies
4. We can get you bike
5. Writing letters to your congressman
6. We can get you a segway to roll around on
7. Ebay buy/sell
8. Kayaking
9. Join a book club
10. You can paint your nails
11. Come swim with me. I have a lap pool in Westchase and I love swimming.
12. Heck, you can sit and lifeguard
13. Write letters to the soldiers
14. Give yourself facials
15. Did I say sex?

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add :
play cards,
play Scrabble
play online Poker
Go to Plays
Join local Rotary
Go to church
Take up knitting...it's really in

Sandy C said...

I love you, Christy!!

Holly said...

you can read The River Wife and GET BACK TO ME ABOUT IT.

And hey, rev up the motorized wheelchair and prepare for me to whip you up and down the beach. Ahem - Judy S - get your PASSPORT!!!

All joking aside. That really sucks. :-P (I'm sticking my tongue out at the pain).

Anonymous said...

your feet wont hurt duh. :)and you wont have to buy new shoes cuz you wont wear them out and after you lose 30 lbs you can lay on the beach in a sexy bathing suit and you go be first in line for things in a wheel chair like if you take a plane and your arms will be really buff

Anonymous said...

- Get a throne and sit in it, WITH your tiara on!
- Come to Peterborough and swim in our pool
- Join Weight Watchers online and play with the recipes
- Get MEGA sympathy for the cane
- Try JT Blocks on YAHOO.com I think you will be totally hooked!
- Think about getting into the clothes you bought when you lost the 30 pounds in the first place
- AGAIN come to Peterborough, I have an amazing size 14 wardrobe that I probably will never ever fit into again. Bring 3 suitcases to fit it all in!

I'm sorry, Sandy! That really sucks. I don't know why they wait until you can't do anything before the replace your hips.

Love you HUGESTER!!

Karen xoxo

Anonymous said...

LOL Aunt Karen, my Dad plays JT Blocks on yahoo every now and then...I'm pretty sure he was addicted for a while a couple years ago.

And, Mom, since you can't go to Europe and will be here to take care of Kevin, and since I'm pretty sure Scott is still going to Europe with Dad....Can I take you place? Please? Pretty, pretty please? It could be a Birthday Present! Seriously, think about it.

Love,
Jeff

Susan said...

OK--this is really bad but years ago when I used to go to Canada's Wonderland with my cousin, we always said we were going to rent a wheelchair for the day and take turns pushing each other around because the wheelchair people didn't have to wait in line for the rides. You could totally do that legitimately. (we never actually did it...)

Judy said...

Your title says it all! I can't believe it...this on top of everything else!
I see Christy's list mentioned sex! Geez, don't leave that out! Hmmm...what else could you do? How about make decoupage collages of the immeasurable career of one Mr. D. Osmond?
Did anyone mention sex??
Funny you should mention CFM heels...I just read another blog that said they're called CFM heels because you'll do anything to get off your feet while you're wearing them!!! LOL!!!!!!!
I hope my mother doesn't read this and ask me what CFM stands for! :-)

Candance said...

You get to ride around in one of those little motorized scooters at the grocery store which can be used to "accidentally" bump into people who are blocking the entire cereal aisle and preventing you from grabbing your Golden Grahams. Or, have races down the aisles with other people in the little buggies. You could have heats and everything.

Can you tell my mind's on food since I can't really eat anything other than a cardboard box?