Talky Tuesday

Wow!! My message area has taken on a life of it's own! If you're reading this blog you really should go to the message area and read the comments. Many are from my family - which makes everyone realize where I get my "crazy" from! LOL!!! I love it!!

I am feeling sooooo good! I have so much energy and I'm sleeping all night. Back to normal till Thursday when it's C-Day, again.

Scotty came home for the Christmas break yesterday. I love when my kids come home. By the time Christmas break is over, I'll love when my kids go back to school...but for now? Looking forward to Saturday because by then? All my boys, including Andrew (who's in Germany right now) and Jeff (who comes home Friday) will be home. They all make me so happy. I was going to say they make me feel normal but since they remind me on a minute by minute basis that I'm crazy, I guess I can't say that. Again, read the comment section - right from my sisters, Kim and Karen, to my boys and that, in itself, is explanation of my craziness. ROFL!!

OK, so I'm going to get bitchy here and here's my observations. Saturday. Andrew & I go to Walmart and the mall. We had some errands to do before he left. My God! People are so weird. I was wearing a very nice scarf (Coach knockoff). People stare. People smile this odd smile - I swear they're thinking "Gee, it's too bad you're dying." The staring is the worst. Kevin and I went to the movies Saturday afternoon and when I went into the bathroom people, literally, stopped taking and washing their hands to stare. This isn't my imagination, people! I swear. When we left? One woman actually openly stared at me with a dropped jaw. WTF!!! I felt like whipping off my scarf and revealing the bald head but I would have gotten cold (this bald head thing is cold!) so I didn't but I did say - loudly - "I guess I'm going to have to get used to rude people staring at me. It's just cancer, people! Just cancer! Not catchy." The only other time I've had this happen to me is when I was in a wheelchair with my asthma but, even then, it wasn't quite this rude.

My sister asked what I want people to do. I just want people to ignore me like they usually do. That's all. No staring or sad smiles. Just ignore me. If they really feel compelled to say something it could be "Cancer sucks". And this "I'm sorry" shit. You know what? When someone tells you they have cancer, don't say I'm Sorry. You know why? Because when you say "My grandmother/loved one died" what do people say to you? "Oh, I'm so sorry." So...when someone says "I have cancer" and you say "Oh, I'm so sorry" it feels, as the cancer person, like people think you're dying.

Yes, I think I am very sensitive. I may be over-sensitive. But...I'm also betting I'm not the only cancer person who feels this way. Anywoo, I'm done venting and I have to go do some work, now. So, off I go, in my hat, to go about my day. If you see someone else like me? Just say "cool hat" or something like that. Or...just treat them normal. And...don't feel bad if, when I told you I was diagnosed with cancer, you said "I'm sorry". It's ok. Let's just learn from it. I probably would have said that, before, when I wasn't the cancer person. I'm betting it bothers other cancer people. I'm betting I'm not the only one.

Wow, that was really negative. Sorry! I'm actually not feeling negative, today. Just not looking forward to walking out the door to this reaction on a daily basis.

Anyway, Have a great day, all!
ttfn