Sunny Saturday

So....I hear you Canadians got quite a dumping of snow yesterday, eh? Yah, Yah, it's pretty..... Pretty damned cold!! ROFL!! It was a beautiful sunny day, here in Florida. A little chilly at 70 degrees. I had to wear a fleecy. But no clouds in the sky. Lovely winter day. Oh! Sorry to you Swedish people, too. LOL!! Listen, people! Come visit us! We'd love to share our weather with you but you have to come to us. teehee!!

Wow! Did everyone read the comments section on my previous post? Once again, my comments section takes on a life of it's own. I must say, I don't think this is so much of a religion thing. I mean, I see where Scott's (my middle son) coming from in that it does tend to be stupid religious people saying this stuff. But that doesn't mean all religious people are like that. I've gotten amazing support from my Christian friends. I think people just say "stuff". I don't think they mean to be mean. I think they're just....well, not thinking (or stupid in some cases). I guess my whole thing, here, is to bring up things that people say and then hope my readers take something from that. Here are things not to say to people who have cancer:

- "I'm so sorry". If you have to say "I'm sorry" add on the words "this happened to you" or "you have to go through that". The words "I'm sorry" are always the first thing out of someone's mouth when there's a death in the family. We cancer people. When we hear that we have cancer there's a whole "why me" thing and a touch of "will I die". We don't need the "I'm sorry" thing, too. And besides, what's a good response to that. When you tell someone you have cancer and they say "I'm sorry". What can I say to that. Oh that's ok. Nope. Yah me too. Well, duh! So what can you say? How about "Oh that sucks" or "Oh wow. If there's anything you need please call me".

- "God never gives you more than you can handle". OMG!! If I hear this one more time I will fucking scream. I'm serious. I don't think my mutated cancer cells have anything to do with God just as I don't think Kevin's broken leg or our other multiple injuries have anything to do with God. I honestly think I took the pill too long or, maybe, it's in my gene pool (my grandmother died of breast cancer 30 years ago). God? I just don't think God's standing around doling out crap like cancer or watching who should die in a car crash. God is light, to me. God is hope, to me. Besides, if God never gave us more than we could handle? Why do people commit suicide? The answer? It's not God giving us anything...it's life.

- "Maybe you got this so that you'll appreciate/cherish life more". Well, I've already addressed this one. And, actually, I don't even know that this has anything to do with religion. But...people who say this to me? Well, they obviously don't know me. I've always been outlandishly optimistic. I love life. Also, I've already been through my share of crap, healthwise, and I've spent way too much time in hospitals and wheelchairs already and I sure as hell didn't need cancer to appreciate/cherish life anymore than I already do.

So...I hope that clears some "things" up. I just want to comment on Scott's comments.
#1 I love that you comment, Scotty. I love that you feel so strongly about your opinions and I encourage you to continue to comment and have opinions. You are very educated on many many religions. I don't think I've met anyone who's read so much about various religions and knows the history of so many different religions. I learn things from you every time we discuss it. I don't always agree with your views but I really respect your knowledge.
#2 I think it's really hard for my kids to watch this happening to their mom. It's scary. Can you imagine waking up to or walking in the front door to a bald mother who's sometimes very sick? It must be very disconcerting. And then, to know that stupid people are saying stupid things to her? I think I would rant, too. Think about how much you love your mother and how frustrating this situation would be. I also love the response to his comment. I don't agree with either of you but I love that these comments were posted.
#3 My Scotty loves to stir things up and I do encourage him. I love that he has opinions and that he comments on my blog. Keep it up, baby! People who have opinions are so much more interesting to be around. The person who responded is one of them, too. Oh, how I wish who anonymous is. I appreciate you, whoever you are.

I loved my sister, Karen's, comment on religion. She said "Religion is personal. If you don't like it fine. It's not worth a rant. Try to remember that this is what has always been the basis of major conflicts and WAR." Oh, smart girl! It really is personal and I'm betting what I believe some others believe and some will think I'm going to hell for believing. That's a whole other subject, though, isn't it? LOL!!

On a lighter note, Karen also said "Going to Dairy Queen, eh?? I guess you forgot to tell everyone that you BLACKMAILED us into taking you! HA HA HA". Well.....that did slip my mind, at the time. Really, it did. And, Karen, I don't think I blackmailed you for the Dairy Queen, anyway, did I? I'm pretty sure your blackmail was to take me to "The Donut Shop" or to take me down the street to talk to that cute boy Jay or get me a ride in the Commers van or take me roller skating with you or hang out with you and Allanah and your totally cool friends who said the "f" word. I had different blackmails for each one of you. Well? You shouldn't have given me the ammunition! ROFL!!

Oh and I should add roller skating with my sisters and brother to the cherish list. I can't hear "we are family" or any Michael Jackson song from "Off the Wall" without thinking of roller skating and knowing that it was so fun and that I was so pathetic at it and you two looked so smooth. Oh! By the way...I really thought some roller skating expert would come and see the two of you and you'd get to go be professional roller skaters and make us all rich. See? I didn't just think that stuff for me...or even just think it in my childhood. I was 16 when I thought this. ROFL!!! I'm so weird!!

OK! This has certainly been long enough. An update on how I'm feeling - I'm feeling pretty good. I had my Herceptin treatment on Thursday. It's pretty quick - about 45 minutes. Oh! You know what? All this time this is how it goes: I go in and they prep my port for insertion. Then they insert the "thingy" into the port. It hurts but not in a "holy shit!" kinda way. More in a "ouchy wa wa" kinda way. You know? OK, so on Thursday, I'm being kinda whiny. I'm kinda sick of going to this place and I'm sick of being stared at (yah, that's still happening) and I'm sick of having this ugly fucking port and I'm just really sick of cancer. So, they tell me that there's a freezing spray they could have been using all this time. I was like "Why didn't you tell me this before?" And they say "You weren't such a wimp before." Shit! I shoulda been a whiny wimp all this time and not the stoic "I'll get through this" person I've been. So from now on I'm gonna make them do the spray. It was wayyyy better!

On the physical side? I now have to draw on my own eyebrows. I'm not very good at it so if anyone sees me and my eyebrows aren't even? Please tell me. LOL!!

Kim, thanks for all the cards. I can't tell you how much they mean to me. Lifts my spirits every time I get one!!

I also want to add a personal note: Helga, call me if you want. You can't say anything I haven't thought or said. It's scary and only someone who's been through it can know what you're going through. I had a conversation with my friend's mom and it was the best thing I could have done. Or...find someone who's going through it or has gone through it and talk. I didn't think it would help me but it really, really did. We are now in a club that we don't want to be in and it fucking sucks. It really fucking sucks. I know. I would give anything not to be in this club. Hang in there.

Take care everyone!
TTFN